Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
