I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
