but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
