So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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