Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
