I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
i out mim tonsoeep
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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