i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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