i don't like sucking hair
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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