Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Can you bring me the toilet please
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
