to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
