You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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