She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
