I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
