I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
