I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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