i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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