just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
