How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
