Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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