You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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