i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize