Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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