Midget sex pt 2 tonight
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
