I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
