is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
