11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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