Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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