it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
