did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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