loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
