Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
