when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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