Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
