Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
