$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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