i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
