idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
