Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
