Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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