Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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