i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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