you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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