Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You dont lie about slip and slides
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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