do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
