Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
