So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
