So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
