yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
