now i know why i became what i already was.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
