So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I cannot find my penis.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
