I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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