Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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