so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
