omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
