She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
