You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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