I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
