How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Randomize
