my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
