i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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