If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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