You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
